Songs.

" Sitting here, staring at the wall,
another lonely, tear falls
I'm trying to write you this song
but I can hardly, see the page at all..

Cause it's breaking my heart,
when I look in your eyes,
and I don't see me.. anymore
When you're all I'm living for.."

This song, [Not ready for Goodbye - All 4 one] was probably my most frequently played song, in 2002 - 2003.. Someone close to me, at the time, loved this song. It was always playing, everytime we went anywhere.. And it kind of stuck with me, from there on.

I haven't heard that song much, since then. Today, however, I was on the train, and my iPod was on shuffle.. That song suddenly came on, and whenever that happens, I usually skip it to the next.. Today, I listened to the whole thing, and let those memories, rush back in.

It felt.. Very.. Strange. I felt.. Very lost for a while, and also upset. It's been ages since I've sat down, and heard that song.. It was like, I was re-living some of the [good] memories. How weird is it, that something happy, can make you feel so torn apart, and so alone, all of a sudden?

Everytime someone has asked me, "what song do you like best?", or something to that affect. I'm always stuck. I don't have a "favourite" song, so to speak.. Everyday, according to how I feel, I fit to a song. That one song, explains what I'm feeling.

It's been a long time since I've actually heard all those songs, that make me remember something good, from the past few years. Songs are something.. That can take you waaaay back, a good 10 years, and make you remember something significant, that you thought you had forgotten. They can also make you cry, out of sheer pain and lonliness.

There is no particular "style" of music I listen to.. I listen to a bit of a lot, really. Apart from all of that Rap and Hip hop, R&B stuff.. And lately, Punjabi stuff as well. I go through phases, every few months, depending on the state of mind I am in, and what I'm going through [events, etc.] in my life, at that particular stage, my music choice changes. I'd say, the only constant "band" that has been there, has to be, Vertical Horizon, Lifehouse, Jars of Clay and Switchfoot. These four, have always been there. Whether I've been really ecstatic, or extremely bored.. Or even really really upset, One of the four, or all four, have always been there, for me.. Somehow, you could say.

A lot of people that I have come across, do not feel that way towards music. Which is obviously, nothing wrong, or anything.. But they feel, as though music is just there, for a good time.. etc. Again, that's true.. I mean, when I'm cleaning my room, I usually play something really fast, something that doesn't have deep-meaningful lyrics.. Just something, I can sing along too, and you know, dust away! That is usually, my hindi music stuff. Even in that, I have a few songs, that are always on "repeat" - Usually the Atif Aslam stuff.

I've never really thought about all of this before.. Just today, whilst hearing that one song.. Made me think really hard, about what it is.. About music, about certain songs.. That make you feel so incredibly warm/happy/sad/depressed/high..etc. And that's when I realised, that I'm one of *those* people.

So, everyone.. Next time you're travelling somewhere, or even when at home. Just press "shuffle" on your music thing, and you'll be surprised what may come up!