It's an understatement to say that work has kept me busy for the last month. I've lost myself somewhere in between train stations and pages of books I can't seem to finish. It's like that feeling you get when you've been on a 7-hour plane journey, only to land in a place that isn't your destination but is for transit purposes. And then waiting a few more hours, carrying on to another 8-hour journey, and before you know it 2 days have passed and you don't know what time zone you're operating on.
Having said that. It's a different feeling to have. An interesting feeling. I've found myself hovering on platforms for trains more than I have found myself in my office or my room at the house. I've enjoyed being lost for the last month, because that gave me an excuse to hide behind music I lost a connection with, and books I've started but never finished.
In this time, I have found out a lot about myself. Things I knew but never understood and things I didn't know but finally have some perspective on. It's been a month of change. In all kinds of manner. It's amazing how much can be condensed into 30 days. Fascinating in fact. It's been a month of high stress, high tension and high exhaustion. Given a chance, I would not want to relive it the same way. Or at all. But as I have constantly said over the years, Change is something I welcome, and never despise. All change is positive, in some way.
I visited my university today and I was completely and utterly in love again. Having been away from the town and the university for over a year now, I realise how much I miss it. I don't miss the experience I had there, but rather the place itself. It actually felt like home. I felt so comfortable, so together and so happy. Feelings I don't feel all the time. Or at least not at once.
Upon leaving university, my friends used to say how they were glad that the three years were finally over. They had had enough of the town, buildings, education and experience. I suppose they're not to blame, as these feelings are only natural. I however, never felt that way. In fact, I didn't understand how to go back to "normal" life. I don't think I do now either. I doubt I ever learnt, I just formed myself into the perception of understanding what "normal" (aka - non-university life) was. I think at some point I will go back to complete my education. Maybe that would give me better direction. As now, I am on a very wavy path. I do like wavy-ness, don't get me wrong. I just get dizzy once in a while.
Having finally stepped into October a couple of days ago, a part of me felt like the past 9 months have been a quick blur. I have not been able to catch my breath properly the last few months, as I have not had a proper holiday or a few days off to enjoy my time. The coming weeks are just for that. I intend on catching up on shows I've neglected to watch this past year, go back to a gym (or join some fun classes like Zumba or Salsa) and take a day trip out of London by myself to just gather my thoughts and enjoy some alone time. That sounds pretty perfect. Oh, add some baking/cooking to that too.
Since I've started working, I've neglected so many things I used to enjoy before. And no, I don't mean TV but things like I mentioned in the list above. I need to find some peace within myself again.
