For as long as I can remember, I have always been an Agony Aunt for relationships. It started in the middle of High School, as that is when I discovered that something like relationships exist. This was all thanks (or unthanks? If there's such a word) to the girls in my class who were persistent to secure boyfriends. They would do silly things like stand in the girls section and look over at the boys section to see if their boyfriends were hanging about. Of course, the moment they'd spot each other - the girls would act like they didn't see the boys, and laugh overly loud, followed by doing something silly but "cute" like clumsily walking in to something, etc. This would in turn, a) make the boys look at them more or b) ignore them, but look at them from the corner of their eyes. The boys would begin to poke fun at each other about their girlfriends. And that would be the entire lunch time gone.
You wonder where I was during lunch time? I was eating lunch. Or getting detention for chewing gum in class. Or hanging out with cooler people. Weirdly enough though, I used to hang out with all sorts of groups in schools. I never limited myself. Comes with the "no rules" policy I have followed since I was a baby.
Anyway, back to being an Agony Aunt. Now, I knew as little as little about love as Cookie does about catching birds (you need to know him to understand that he does not catch birds.. It's one of his most endearing (read: non-cat) qualities). However, I used to give them my honest opinions and used to try and be as unbiased as possible. Partly because, I was friends with many of the boys. I can't help it. I work better with them. They come with NO issues, and are so easy to talk to!
The problems I was told about were mostly to do with "he said I have to come to City Centre (Dubaians you know where I am going with this) or else he won't give me my birthday present (or talk to me/or will break up with me)". Of course at the time these were the biggest problems in their lives. And to me, they seemed sort of dumb. I didn't get it. I mean, it was just a boy. And so much effort was put in to it. Not only effort, but tears, stress and heart ache.. It made no sense. To me, love or "deep like" as I liked to call it (I had this theory that no one under a certain age could actually "fall in love" and that anything before that was just "deep like".. I had many theories. I had an active brain), was something so baffling and time consuming. Why waste time, I'd ask them - and I'd mostly get the same reply.. "Because I "love" him". Perhaps I was too much of a tom-boy or just so uninterested in all of that romance/mush/cheese that I didn't know how to react apart from cringing and just groaning at the sound of those words.
Nevertheless, I maintained my Agony Aunt status for quite a few years. And it actually became second-nature to be there for various friends and acquaintances during their rough love stories. Some were actually really rough. But this still didn't change my mind. I didn't understand love. I didn't understand why people became so aloof, and why they would talk about the same person all day, all night. It was like something had taken them over. I'd spend hours on the phone with my other like-minded friends, cribbing about such nonsensical behaviour.
However, one fine Valentines Day - I was walking towards my bus at the end of the day and a friend of mine came towards me. He had a bag - a quite obviously Valentines Day bag with hearts and glitter and other annoying materials that don't come off your hand - and said "it's for you, it's from a secret admirer".. I didn't know what to do or say, and so I started laughing, assuming it was a joke. I walked off after a second and he came after saying it was seriously for me. I was confused and felt a bit ill in my stomach (I don't know if this is a normal reaction, by the way). I ran on to the bus and sat down next to my friend and told her all about what happened in under a second. She smiled, saying she knew I'd get something. I had no idea what that meant - I was convinced that I was being pranked. It was the only sensible conclusion. She told me to open the bag - and reluctantly I did. I found a small teddy bear, which smelt of aftershave, along with a card and a box of Ferrero Rocher's. I read the card and it was quite sweet. I felt even more sick and tossed the bag to my friend who found it hilarious.
I went home and showed my mum - she had that smile on her face and asked me who it was from. When I told her I didn't know, I felt a bit deflated. How could someone like me? And why were they being silly. I tried going through all the people I knew and came up with no suspects. It was only when I called the friend who delivered the bag when I heard someone at the back say "is it her?" that I knew who it was. It had been someone I had only met twice - both times in a big group meal/video gaming area type situation.
He tried talking to me on the phone and didn't get very far (because I hung up). Safe to say that love story ended before it started due to my discomfort and inability to understand that someone (a boy) could like me. I think I mostly felt sick by the experience. I didn't feel like other girls did on Valentines Day - or any other day they'd get gifts. I didn't feel swept away, or at the least, tip-toeing an inch off the ground. I was pretty sure that I had no romantic feelings inside me. I didn't really understand them to be honest.
It was only after that experience however, I started listening to love songs (actually "listening" to the lyrics), enjoying romantic movies and picking up novels that had some type of romance in it. I even invested in lip-balm. I became more aware of feelings and emotions of a romantic nature (not towards anyone, mind, just in general). I understood a little bit more about relationships and sometimes would day dream about what it would be like. And after that, I honestly couldn't help myself.. I became a bit of a love-bug. And made some people feel sick with how incredibly love-eyed I was.
I continue to be an Agony Aunt (although much less, and I choose who I Agony Aunt with), but now it comes from a much softer place.
So here it is. My confession - I am a romantic. I am deeply moved by love and I think of it as one of the greatest things that could happen to someone. I am a sap. There is nothing that can make me cry as easily as a good love story (in any form).
Of course there's a love song. And of course it's by Bryan Adams.
Nevertheless, I maintained my Agony Aunt status for quite a few years. And it actually became second-nature to be there for various friends and acquaintances during their rough love stories. Some were actually really rough. But this still didn't change my mind. I didn't understand love. I didn't understand why people became so aloof, and why they would talk about the same person all day, all night. It was like something had taken them over. I'd spend hours on the phone with my other like-minded friends, cribbing about such nonsensical behaviour.
However, one fine Valentines Day - I was walking towards my bus at the end of the day and a friend of mine came towards me. He had a bag - a quite obviously Valentines Day bag with hearts and glitter and other annoying materials that don't come off your hand - and said "it's for you, it's from a secret admirer".. I didn't know what to do or say, and so I started laughing, assuming it was a joke. I walked off after a second and he came after saying it was seriously for me. I was confused and felt a bit ill in my stomach (I don't know if this is a normal reaction, by the way). I ran on to the bus and sat down next to my friend and told her all about what happened in under a second. She smiled, saying she knew I'd get something. I had no idea what that meant - I was convinced that I was being pranked. It was the only sensible conclusion. She told me to open the bag - and reluctantly I did. I found a small teddy bear, which smelt of aftershave, along with a card and a box of Ferrero Rocher's. I read the card and it was quite sweet. I felt even more sick and tossed the bag to my friend who found it hilarious.
I went home and showed my mum - she had that smile on her face and asked me who it was from. When I told her I didn't know, I felt a bit deflated. How could someone like me? And why were they being silly. I tried going through all the people I knew and came up with no suspects. It was only when I called the friend who delivered the bag when I heard someone at the back say "is it her?" that I knew who it was. It had been someone I had only met twice - both times in a big group meal/video gaming area type situation.
He tried talking to me on the phone and didn't get very far (because I hung up). Safe to say that love story ended before it started due to my discomfort and inability to understand that someone (a boy) could like me. I think I mostly felt sick by the experience. I didn't feel like other girls did on Valentines Day - or any other day they'd get gifts. I didn't feel swept away, or at the least, tip-toeing an inch off the ground. I was pretty sure that I had no romantic feelings inside me. I didn't really understand them to be honest.
It was only after that experience however, I started listening to love songs (actually "listening" to the lyrics), enjoying romantic movies and picking up novels that had some type of romance in it. I even invested in lip-balm. I became more aware of feelings and emotions of a romantic nature (not towards anyone, mind, just in general). I understood a little bit more about relationships and sometimes would day dream about what it would be like. And after that, I honestly couldn't help myself.. I became a bit of a love-bug. And made some people feel sick with how incredibly love-eyed I was.
I continue to be an Agony Aunt (although much less, and I choose who I Agony Aunt with), but now it comes from a much softer place.
So here it is. My confession - I am a romantic. I am deeply moved by love and I think of it as one of the greatest things that could happen to someone. I am a sap. There is nothing that can make me cry as easily as a good love story (in any form).
Of course there's a love song. And of course it's by Bryan Adams.
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