2013

2013. What can I say about it? It was an insanely full year. There were events and all sorts of things happening throughout the year.

It was a year filled with new experiences and a lot of spontaneity. It was the year that I realised that marriage is something I want - it's also the year that I realised that I need to change the way I live my life. 

I lost tonnes of weight, and I became fitter. I started understanding the importance of good diet and nutrition and took all of the information and research I did on board to a better and healthier lifestyle. I am now officially wheat, dairy, gluten, grain and sugar free. Apart from the odd chocolate of course. 

I also went to Toronto and Dubai for a short holiday - and I have to say, both times - both holidays, were absolutely fantastic. I got closer to people in my life that I did not know as well before, and strengthened other relationships. 

I also learnt that I am now at a place with friendships where I've figured out that the older the friends are, the less maintenance they need in order to stay in touch. I met some of my oldest and dearest friends whilst out in Dubai during Christmas. It was completely amazing, and so easy to speak to them and catch up. It was as though no time had passed at all - and it was absolutely great to see how far we've all come in our lives. I think those are the friendships that I've cherished the most. Whereas those friends I met later in life, I've seen myself  grow apart from them and find that I barely have much in common with them any more.. In fact, that whole stage in my life during University is now a blur. I don't remember much from that part of my life, and I don't feel the need to rerun through memories in order to feel content either. I've accepted that I was a different person then, and by default knew different people. 

In short. I've grown up. I'm 25 and I've got an idea as to what I want from my life - where I stand, and more importantly, where I'd like to go. This time last year, I think I was not as sure as to what I wanted from my year. I just went with the flow and by the end of the year, I think I had had enough and wanted, nay, craved a change of pace and scene. 

Although I mentioned that I did a lot of new things - and I'm glad I did! - there were a few very deep, very sad events that occurred as well. I lost my uncle, whom I was close to and whose death really shook my entire family due to his very sudden and tragic passing. After he passed away, I think life got a little bit more real, and it changed me a lot. I realised that I got quieter, and more subdued. I started thinking a lot more and suddenly aged in my mind and body. I fell ill, I felt low on energy, I felt a bit insecure and most of all - I was completely and utterly scared by what life had shown me again. In early 2012 I lost my grandfather, and it had only been just over a year later when my uncle had also gone. It was too much to take in, for a short amount of time. 

Once that happened, the rest of the year just sped by in weddings, some more bad news regarding my other uncle's heart (he's doing better now) and other such news. If I'm honest, the later half of the year really did something to my internal processes. I felt unlike myself, and I felt so utterly lost and confused. It almost felt like an older part of me was resurfacing and I was quite worried. I felt quite hopeless and also a bit anxious a lot of the time. These were emotions I thought I had buried away some years ago - so having them come back was definitely not a warm feeling.

Towards the end of the year I had a bright idea - I decided that I needed a holiday and booked myself a short trip to Dubai towards the end of December. I think I envisioned the remainder of the year to pan out in a similarly negative way. I knew I would have needed the time away by that point. And it was a blessing when it came around. It was 10 glorious days spent with some wonderful company and feeling a bit like myself again, although with a much needed renewed outlook on life. 

As the New Year begins, I find myself sitting here with a massive new zest for life. For the first time in a very very very (times a thousand) long time I finally feel like I've pinpointed what needs to change in my life and how to go about it. There is no option of trying - it will work, and I will make those changes. It's high time I move on with my life, and get out of the environment and places I find myself in now.

.. And of course, travel some more!

I'm ready. 2014, you're mine. You have no choice but to be completely amazing. I'm having no less. You will be good to me!

Happy new year all - make it a memorable, adventurous and more importantly a fantastic year.