I'm a very feeling - intuitive - emotion-based - sense-y (whatever, it's the end of the week) - kind of person. I'm all about the "look within yourself to find answers", and completely unfazed by what others think about me or the way I work. It's taken a lot of challenges and a lot of self-destruction to get me to the point I am at now though. But enough about such sobby stories. Basically, I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things. And opinions (although that's a post for another day).
Since I've realised that I am quite a feeling-y person, I've also realised that I appreciate people who are also quite feeling-y in return. And when I find someone who is of similar nature, it's like I've met a soul-mate, almost. Over the past few months, I've started to become more vocal when it comes to appreciating others. If someone says or does something I feel deserves recognition, I will be honest about it and will say it. This is a new thing for me, as in the past, I've been quite shy and reserved and have only thought those things. But I realise how important it is to actually say it out loud as well.
Recently, someone passed me a very nice compliment, and it touched me so much that I began to tear up, and eventually burst in to tears. To someone watching my range of emotions span from zero - woman (0 - W), would think I was particularly hormonal and therefore utterly emotional. But I wasn't. It was the fact that someone noticed something about me, that had otherwise gone unnoticed for 25 (almost 26.. That's 4 years from 30. Jeeze, (wo)man's getting old) years. It was a compliment based on a trait, and I think those are the most deepest and most genuine.
It was during this interesting exchange that I realised that generally, people aren't very nice to each other. In a world where you'd rather "WhatsApp" a person, than set a plan to meet them when they live in the same city, is utterly bizarre. We're too busy for others. We're too busy being so wonderfully important that we often forget that personal exchanges are the most amazing and natural things in the world.
For instance, I've seen couples who don't have time for one another - because of "other" responsibilities or "other" things. Whatever they may be. I understand that in this day and age, where everything is almost a struggle for every person, that it is hard to find time to sit and write poetry about your Significant Other (by the way, I don't actually mean that one must write poetry for another. Just so we're all on the same track. Can't have you guys thinking I'm a sog, although I am. That is besides the point. And this bracket is getting far too long now). I'm just saying that it's very very easy to take some time out of the day, to just sit and remember why you fell in love with that person. Don't settle in to a boring routine of "being married".. I mean, eventually your teeth will fall off and all you'll do is be married. I think there's so much depth to every person. I find that even a lifetime together, isn't enough to uncover layers and mysteries to someone. And that's such a wonderful thing. It's so wonderful being surprised by your partner many years later, because of a story or a trait you didn't know about. It's like a warm-cosy feeling that keeps you interested.
See, the other things will always be there. There will always be a reason to be busied with other life things. But the amount of change a small amount of time spent with complete emotions, with another person will make, is invaluable.
I've also seen couples who sit and list everything negative, they can possibly imagine, about their Significant Other, without feeling any remorse. It's times like that, I feel that genuine love and admiration no longer exists. Yes, we annoy each other, yes there are people in your life that have become white noise, but when it's someone who you have consciously chosen to spend your life with, I would imagine that these "annoying lists" would somehow disintegrate. Or at least not become the focal point of your relationship. We so often spend our time blaming others for our bad feelings and our mishaps. It's so important to take time, I feel, as an individual to continuously re-evaluate who you are, and where you are going. It's a process, to becoming a better person - because as mentioned a million times before, it's so easy to get stuck in to petty nothingness and drown yourself in that misery. If you're happier with yourself, you're naturally happier around others in your life. People mirror our feelings. They basically react to what we give off, and if we give off unhappiness or misery, they'll only make those feelings stronger.
Now that was a complete tangent-off where I was heading to! Back on track.
Going back to this compliment. I don't know why it shocked me so much. Rather, I don't know why it shocked me that I was so shocked in the first place (there were many levels of shock I was working with here, people). I'm not saying that you should shower people with meaningless compliments all day long, or all the time. Not at all. I feel that people who do good, or make you feel good, should know that they are good people. Because we all go through our lives feeling unappreciated on some level. We feel that our efforts are going unseen - be it in a relationship, at work or with your family (and this includes cats). It's come to a point where, talking to someone who is actually decent and genuinely good hearted, is so incredibly rare - that you're mostly left shocked when they talk to you. You forget to digest the information or the compliments or the conversation in any way, due to the fact that it's almost foreign to you. Now that, my fellow readers, is heartbreaking.
I was fascinated by this person's ability to just really tell me out right what they thought of me. It was effortless and easy. And I wondered what was wrong with them. I mean, surely it's not the norm to be so nice, and so uncomplicated? It's only when I started "researching" this compliment in my own mind, did I hit myself and told myself that I was the one with all those issues. This person, un-chaotically said something that was on their mind, and I wondered, for hours on end what possibly led them to that conclusion about me. It was very twisted, on my part. Because that is how unknown "niceness" and "honesty" has been to me. There are very few people who have appreciated me, I feel, outside my family, and I've never noticed that. It was just a part of my life, and I didn't really pay much attention to it. It's only when you see that something like this exists, that it makes you sad that you lived without it (the appreciation mind, not the compliment. I'm not egoistic. Yet.)
To this person however, you've inspired me to write this post. So, thank you!
Now - here's a song!
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