Finding somebody who you share a good chemistry with is like finding the correct song to the tune you hum but never know what it is - it takes years to find.
I have been thinking a lot, with all the spare time I have. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have a pattern or a certain "quality" I go for, when making friends. When I look back on all the very close friendships I had over the years, I see no similarities. Each person did however bring a change to my character for that place I was in. I think if I were to describe any phase in my life up till now, I would have no problem in doing so, just by looking at the types of friends I had during that time. Obviously I am still in touch with some of them, but each time we do talk, I realise how much I have changed.
I guess these thoughts came about because I've been missing some of my closest friends. I have had a lot of time to spend with myself over the last couple of months, and lately I have found my company to be somewhat interesting. For instance, I visited the British Library the other day and it was gorgeous. I loved it. There was nothing spectacular there or life changing, but it was just the atmosphere I was in. It dawned on me that, although I have become accustomed to being by myself (not "alone" - notice the difference) I missed hanging around with some of my good friends.
I was explaining this concept to a few people the other day - the concept of enjoying doing things by yourself once in a while. It seemed like some people find this idea bizzare and somewhat saddening. I don't understand why really. I mean how uncomfortable do you have to be with yourself for not wanting to spend time with yourself, right? I think if everyone takes time to enjoy their own company (in a non-schizophrenic manner) you appreciate others just as much. It's something I learnt in Psychology actually - that people tend to redirect their worst qualities or fears upon another person, thinking that it's actually a fault in the person rather than themselves (called the "transference theory" for anyone interested). So I guess if you learn to deal with these fears and gain insight into yourself, you'd probably be more comfortable in your own skin and surroundings. It is hard to do, and accept a lot of the times, but hey it's worth a shot.
Anyway, as I was saying - I was trying to explain this concept to a few people and they found it so foreign and actually laughed at me. I found it particularly ignorant of them actually. It's like somebody STILL believing that Dubai is in Saudi Arabia. I mean, what if you want to watch a movie really badly, or go to an event that is only on for a day, but you don't have the company? Most people would choose not to go at all in fear of "looking bad" or "feeling lonely." I'm not saying that I'm a loner, or I like being by myself all the time. I'm just saying that it's important to have that relationship with yourself. We always forget to appreciate ourselves, and just pat ourselves on the back at the end of a hard day to say "well-done" or "don't worry, things will get better" in fear that you'll seem crazy. I say go all out, and talk to yourself once in a while, a full blown conversation about all sorts.
For those of you wondering, I'm not deluded, hallucinating, schizophrenic or anything else.
For the rest of you, especially the wonderful friends, who do "get me" - here's a song.
4 comments:
It's slightly disingenious to so publicly declare how you like do things alone. In this age of cyber validation and Facebook status updates, you don't need to be in the physical presence of another in order to exist with them.
Yet I'm hardly ever on facebook, and I don't own a twitter account. So this post does obviously relate to me, perhaps not you.
Oh come now, I didn't take you for the literal type. Blackberry, blogs, whatever; the point is that we're connected even when we're alone. Things are only worth doing if we can write to the world about them, and that includes hanging out with yourself :)
We might be connected through all this digital stuff, and all of that - but when my point is that, when we're doing things BY OURSELVES ie - without another person or your phone or your blog, it's a pretty cool place to be. :)
Post a Comment