How to make lemonade

You'd think it was a simple three-step process. Nope. Wrong. Not when I'm the one making it, at least.. So here is how you make lemonade, my way! =D

1 - Scream for your mum, who is in the far end of the garden, and ask her where the jug is. Don't look around and see for yourself, that it's infront of you.

2 - Take the jug, look around for a moment. Start singing, kissing the cat and running around the garden, running away from what looks like a bee, but is actually a piece of black fluff.

3 - Step back into the kitchen, and try to remember what you were doing. Think again. And again.

4 - Take out the chopping board, and then ask mum if it's the right one, (there are three in this house. One for chicken and meat (gross), one for vegetables, and I think one for garlic and onions. Sigh.) and she will say no.

5 - Find the right chopping board, and go to the fridge, take out the bag of lemons. See the almond cake instead, and take it out.

6 - Take the cake out of the box and eat it slowly, letting the creaminess just melt in your melt..
Suddenly, your brother in law will walk in, and ask you what you are doing, and where the lemonade is. Lie, and tell him that it's made, and you are waiting for the ice to melt in the fridge. Ahem. He won't ask any further questions.

7 - Get panicky, take out the lemons, and put the cake away. Far away.

8 - Take out the lemons, look at them for a while.. And find a suitable knife. Start testing the knife, and cut bags, glass, your finger.. and anything else you can find. Your mum will shout, I assure you. You have to tell her that you were testing the knife, to see if it is worthy enough to be chopping lemons..

9 - Start cutting the lemons in half.. Find the lemon squeezer, and the jug.

10 - Start squeezing the lemon into the jug, one by one. Squeeze all of them, until the jug is half full of lemon juice.

11 - Add water, from the filtered jug. Oh, and make sure the top is tightly on the jug, otherwise, all the water will fall on to the ground, the table top and the washing machine. Make sure mummy dearest doesn't see it. If she does, suddenly act like you got a finger cramp.

12 - Continue adding water to the jug, until it's over flowing into the sink. Stop it right there, you have the correct amount. Add sugar. Mix it. Add more sugar. Mix it some more.

13 - Taste it with a spoon, not your finger that is covered with grass.

14 - It will need a lot more sugar. Take out the sugar jar, and keep adding sugar, until you see more sugar than water. Stir it. Hard.

15 - Taste it. It will taste too sweet.

16 - Take out the bag of lemons again, and add more lemon juice.

17 - It will be too sour now. So add more sugar, and water.

18 - Suddenly the cat will be purring at your feet. Make him smell the lemonade. He will walk away, and have his ears down.

19 - Happily smile, and give it to your family. Suddenly disappear into the bathroom. For hours.

20 - Come out, and sweetly ask, how it was.. =)

So yes. I took one hour, 20 minutes making two jugs of lemonade. And in the process, I sang, did a little Joey dance, played with Cookie and randomly started to rake the grass.

I have bad concentration levels. Tsk