Somewhere in late December 2024, on a warm muggy Melbourne day, my husband and I (along with our then 2-year old) – found ourselves roaming an indoor vintage market. This market had vendors that made so many amazing homemade things, and I really wanted to buy some lavender based “sleep helper” balms that promised a restful night’s sleep (spoiler: 3.5 years of being a mother to a “strong spirited” girl, I can safely say that, no amount of lavender can put my child to sleep, and thereby give me sleep). Of course, I bought it – in fact, I bought two because I believed in their restful promise so much. On the side of their table, was a small brown vintage drawer, which opened to some more products. Ah, foot fizz – what is it? It’s a peppermint covered tablet that “fizzes” when you drop it in warm water for a foot bath.. Giving your feet, renewed feelings of comfort, freshness and warmth.. And yes, definitely recommended to have these said warm foot baths, before bed. In it went inside my basket without a thought. Of course, I was going to use this foot fizz as soon as I got back to my humble abode in Leicestershire. That, and the sleep helper balm – I knew I was in for a home-made spa day, entering the most delightful rest one could hope for.
Fast forward to January 4th 2025 – in my “new year, better sleep” era – and I thoughtfully put my foot fizz box inside my bathroom vanity cupboard. You know, the one with the mirrored doors that you look at yourself in when you brush your teeth, and then look at your teeth straight after to see if those coffee stains have come off – yeah, inside there. I put it next to these “golden under eye” patches my sister gave me as part of my present in May 2024. I got excited.. I planned that the following weekend, I would take time in the morning, and use all of these wonderful products to make me feel renewed again. Because, after travelling back from Melbourne – and losing about 10 years of my life on those many planes – and airports – with a perpetually sick and overtired toddler who just wanted to go home to her cat – I really felt I deserved it.
4 days later, on 8th January – we end up in A&E because my child was severely dehydrated, very unwell and lethargic. She caught something on the way back from this trip, and it completely drained her. Like this, days passed in to weeks, in to months. In this time, we went on other holidays, and yes you know it – I bought more lavender based products. The cycle continued throughout 2025.
Since that fateful day in December 2024 – I have opened my mirrored vanity cupboard pretty much daily. I have looked at my shelf inside, daily. I sigh at the foot fizz, like it knows how life has been lately. I honestly, cannot define where the year went. Or the years before this, when I used to blog. When writing was a way of expressing myself and my thoughts. It was a form of catharsis on some level, and releasing all sorts of emotions. Writing, anywhere – was truly a passion.
But as years have passed – I have turned to wife and mother – responsibilities have piled up, decisions needed to be made at every turn.. Understanding the fragility of parenthood, finding the right jobs, becoming a better person, focusing on my deen, trying to lose weight, making sure the house is maintained well, and making time for everyone in between – has just trumped everything else. And no, this isn’t meant to be a sob story, because Alhamdulilah – I have tonnes to be grateful for, and continue to be so.
This is the story about the foot fizz, that never got used. It’s still there, patient and pepperminty and unopened. A small promise I made to myself and never quite kept. Not because I forgot – but because something else always came first.
Somewhere along the way, rest became something I planned versus something I took. Life filled up with preschool pick ups, nap transitions, toilet training, sicknesses, and reading Gruffalo far too many times – all good and necessary things. Just, heavy sometimes.
Maybe one day I’ll use the foot fizz. Or maybe it will stay right where it is, a quiet marker of how time slips past whilst we’re busy becoming other versions of ourselves. For now, this feels close enough. Opening the cupboard.. Writing again.
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