I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Keane knew what they were singing about.

I'm at that awful lull right now -- the one where you think you're hoping you're making progress just by sitting around the house, but really you're not. Yep, the jobless/unemployed phase.

However, not all is dim -- as I've started to use the Gym more frequently, with a lot different classes to join, so you know that keeps me busy. Along with that, I'm taking an interest in perhaps writing my own book (stop laughing). Well okay, that's a bit of a lie - I haven't yet started to write the book, it's still at the formulating the ideas stage. Okay that's probably a bigger lie. I'm not even formulating ideas. It actually just came to me right now. I'm sure I could write a book, about all sorts. It would not be a very good book, considering I have a tendency to jump from one topic to another. Tsk

Anyway, I've also taken an interest in baking a lot. I've been making some very yummy goodies lately -- things like Mississippi Mud-Pie Cake, and biscuits. Although I'm on this new eating plan - a low Gi eating plan, it stops me from eating the said yummy goodies I make, so really I'm like one of those Saint-Bakers. You know, those who do good for others. Actually I don't know how much good Sugar, butter and more sugar can be to others, but you get the gist.

Oh who am I kidding. I am bored senseless out of my head staying inside the house everyday - apart from the two hours I spend at the Gym. The rest of the day really reads the same - come back, eat, watch something on TV, apply for my jobs, clear out the rejection emails and watch more tv, perhaps eat somewhere in between, play with the cat, pat the kids on the head, sleep and repeat 7-9 hours later. I know I'll miss this so called "lazing around" phase once I start working (please give me a job!). But then again, I don't think I will to an extent. Let me explain this contradiction better. When I was at uni, I never used to feel like just "lazing around" unless it was very cold outside, it was "one of those days" or if I was taken ill. There was always something I would find, to do and keep myself busy with. I became very accustomed to that type of lifestyle - the hardly sleeping, always out - type of routine. And although there was nothing absolutely amazing I'd do, it was just interesting and somewhat energetic doing something else apart from staring at some screen all day and having zero mind-activity going on. Suffice to say, this time at home, has significantly lowered my IQ - I have found out the true meaning of Trashy TV. It's addictive. I actually keep reminders for certain shows. This is not me at my best. Tut

I want to get a move on, already. I want to be busy, and have things to do. Had I been in this particular phase, say 3-4 years ago, I would have been fine with staying at home all the time. But there's a lot that has happened, and I have changed (I would hope for the better).. And now I'm just waiting. Almost like Waiting for Godot.

I have been discovering a lot of new music lately. I love this stage. I love the feeling of a new song, a new band and a new album. It's so thrilling. You want to be surprised, you want to feel something for the song and you want to have some type of emotion left behind afterwards. I love the sense of something new. Yes I do!

So in the interest of shutting me up, and signing off - listen to this song.