The Hairy Princess and the Pee.

As we all know, fairytales and other such stories have always been the fine example of perfection. I mean, you have the poor yet beautiful princess, who in someway is locked in a castle, tower, chamber or has had an evil spell cast upon her due to her never-ending beauty, and therefore she's in distress. However, don't you remember that no matter how mean, horrible or nasty anyone is to her (See "Evil stepmother, stepsister, stepcat" so forth) she never fights back or anything, because she's so perfect and ofcourse, anger is a quality of pure imperfection which is why she does not possess such qualities and resigns to a life of pure misery.

Oh wait! Not pure misery. You know why? Well, we forgot to mention the birds, the bee's (and I do not mean in that sense, but in the literal sense!), the rats and in some cases even the tree's that talk to her and are her best friends. She sings in tune with love birds, has a voice that could shake even the wickedest or cynical (See "Prince Charming" - Who of course never wants to marry because he thinks no one is good enough for his *giggle* looks.) of hearts! So she has friends, in the shape of tiny animals and at times, fairies and dwarves who would do anything for her; S'long as she continues singing to them and telling them stories of never-ending, pure and passionate love that she hopes to find in the shape of.. Guess who? Oh yes, Mr. Charming. Prince Charming, to those less fortunate.

And of course, there's the climax of the story when our damsel in distress is caught in her unfortunate dilemma - either to do with a needle, a curse, a fruit so luscious but filled with POISON *Thundering effects*! So all these dilemma's and just the one kiss or in Cindy's case - a shoe! that can solve it all. And then the witch, stepmother, sister, cat all become good or magically disappear due to the romantic first kiss of Mr. Charming and our lovely Princess. Oh! And they live happily ever after.. With the animals and tree's that is.

Now don't get me wrong, I love fairy tales that were written many decades ago that are still part of the "never-ending classics" collection - they are part of the childhood, and part of a dream world we create for ourselves at such young ages. But I mean, what about the less fortunate - the ones who can't laugh as annoyingly sweetly as Snow White, or have mice and birds make their hair every morning (not that I'd EVER choose to do that no matter what kind of apple I ate!) like Cinderella, or have the most perfect voice like Princess Aurora and perhaps travel on a magic carpet like Jasmine! Not to forget their beauty. Oh yes. Perfect figures, heights and faces. Can it get more depressing?

So now, my fellow minions, I propose my story. Fit for every reader. The Beauty, the Beast, The candle and the candle holders! Actually no, not the beauty - because well they all have their little perfect prancing stories already written. I present to you.. "The Hairy Princess and the Pee".

And it is exactly like the title says. Here is a summary, if you please!

This TairyFale is about a Hairy (I'm talking Barefoot combined with Tom Selleck.) Princess, who believes she is a Princess but is actually a normal girl. And of how she falls asleep one day on the floor and wakes up covered in Pee. And that my friend, is the turning point of the story. Don't let me ruin the rest!

.. Now the question we've all been waiting for. When am I publishing this TairyFale, and more importantly where am I signing books? The Muffet Avenue. That's where. Be there or be square (What does that even mean?!).

It's been an exhausting day for my brain. He (don't ask how my brain is a whole different gender to me) had to go through a lot of strenuous activities. Mainly, figuring out why exactly there was a Frostie on the bathroom floor, purring and sleeping whilst we continued to ignore the strangeness of that situation and used the bathroom as normal.

With that, here are two perfect quotes I thought fit for the recent atmosphere of my blog and life:

"There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person."

"Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet, pee on your owner."

Courtesy of catquotes.com