Thursday, June 26, 2008

Waitful Thinking

Having so much time on my hands, whilst on my summer holidays - I've officially employed myself as the ponderer, considering how no one else will employ me to actually work for money. Tsk.

If you know me well enough, or have on some occasion had an in-depth conversation with me - about anything really, you'll know that I think a lot and I wait a lot. I'd say those were my flaws - as well as my greater talents and something I would write on my CV under "Hobbies and Interests" or even "Future Plans" really! Obviously, that would only be taken seriously if I were to apply for a position of being a philosophers assistant - and by that I mean, sit next to him and philosophise about why exactly the world is round, how it rotates, why Pythagoras loved numbers so much and why exactly Newton decided to sit under that very apply tree and ruin all of our lives.. Well, at least the ones who got D's and F's in their GCSE Physics exams. And by that, I do not insinuate anything. Cough.

Don't get me wrong, I love thinking about mundane things as well as those very annoyingly unanswerable questions we all think of at some very obscure moments in our lives. For example - What's the meaning of life, what is love and of course, are the body and mind one and the same thing? And you basically drive yourself absolutely insane by the end of the circular arguments in your head, by which point you welcome insomnia into your lives. It's great, really.

Along with thinking, I happen to find myself waiting a lot. For what, you may wonder? Well that my fellow readers, even I have no clue about.

The other day, for example, I caught myself waiting on the middle of the stairs - wondering what was happening downstairs. Not being clever enough to just go inside and see for myself, I stood there waiting on the stairs like a right dunce. I waited for approximately 20 minutes, in that same spot, thinking to myself of all the options of what could be going on. I will keep these particular thoughts to myself, as they were possibly the most dim and most unnecessary thoughts anyone could have in the span of 20 minutes. But the point of this example is that, I wait a lot. It's an everyday thing really. Be it - waiting for a phone call, waiting for This Morning to start on ITV, waiting at the edge of a bed in a quiet room hoping for something exciting to happen or waiting for yet another plan to immerse into my head about something exceptionally great for my future (.. That last on a span of .2 seconds).. Or, waiting for the fly to land on my window so I can crush it with my finger and then feel remorse as I realise I squished its unborn eggs too.

I'm guessing you all get my point, loud and grossly clear. So I'll move on.

All of this got me thinking (see what I mean! It's a disease.), about how people are always waiting for something. Be it waiting for plane tickets to arrive or seeing a loved one after a long while. There are endless reasons to why people wait. But if you look closely, there's always something we're anticipating. That said, we're probably never fully satisfied with our present lives, as we're caught waiting for something or another to make us stop waiting - if that makes any sense at all! I mean, I know that right now, there are about 10 things I can think of that I'm anticipating - and that's just off the top of my head! Imagine if I made a list. Now that, would be hard labour.

Waiting is tedious and dangerous. It brings upon too many expectations in hope that, that something you are waiting for will either make everything better - and you'll be doomed if it doesn't. So it's kind of scary to settle all your anticipation on one thing. Unless of course you're waiting for the day you are stung by a jellyfish, in which case that is not really fun neither would it make anything better. And, waiting can also be exciting and tomfoolery (Snigger. Using a thesaurus is so absolutely entertaining - you can just stay amused at how you sound so unintelligent really.) - because come on, who wouldn't be excited to receive their new BMW or if you're me at the age of 8 - a new set of colouring pencils. Don't laugh, I lead a very colourful and.. Well, some may say schizophrenic childhood - but hey, not everyone's privileged enough to have "real" friends. Cough.

That brings me to the end of another long post - filled with, well - Thoughts. I am afterall, the next great thinker. Oh yes I am.

I'm off now, to waitfully think some more.. But before I go, here's a quote.. by, Dr. Something or another. Considering how he's a self-help author, It would probably be accurate to say that he's getting you all to look BEYOND yourselves. So as to let us know that THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE (How totally x-files of him!). I will have you all know btw, that I've completely taken his advice and now at my IA (Insane Anonymous) meetings I speak openly, without feeling ashamed of WHO I AM, damnit. So what if I counted my stickers all day long from the ages of 7 - 17. At least I had potential. That's right.. Er.

"Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait. The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results. And reasons simply don't count."

.. You take his advice, and you're golden. Good to go, and all that jazz.

I think I'm going to write self-help books on reading self-help books. That should be interesting.

This, here - when I come up with new ideas, is my cue to leave.

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