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"Yours is the light by which my spirit's born: you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars" - E. E. Cummings 

Things I learnt this year (Part 1)

Historically, I've always waited until the New Year to recap the year that's just gone by. But since 2014 is proving to be such a wonderful surprise, I thought why not change things up a bit.. And list a few things that I think I've learnt or possibly been made aware of thus far.

1. Nobody prepares you for your 20's.
You enter these ages of absolute uncertainty and so much confusion. There's so much constant change through the years that follow after you graduate. For me, personally, I felt that I was totally out of my depth. I didn't understand the working world, I didn't understand the personalities, and I most certainly had no idea how to behave around (uncomfortable) political situations. The emotional changes don't end there though.. As you suddenly find yourself in this whole new frame of mind of wanting to settle down. Yikes! (That's like going from "they have cooties" to "how do I get one" in under a minute.. Or at least it feels like that!) And when you find someone, it's learning to mesh together two worlds. It's learning so many things about yourself in so many ways, that you didn't think were possible. And for that reason, I think it should be part of some type of educational curriculum, where people are taught about this whole stage of life. Thoroughly. Expectations verus reality, and so forth.

2. Patience.
I never knew how much patience I had. I underestimated the amount I had, especially when I thought I was being pushed to my limit. I used to think that having patience was somewhat of a weak quality - as that would mean, you'd just wait for whatever event to come along, and that's it. In my head it was all a little bit "Waiting for Godot." And I hated that. It was only when one day I sat, and understood the meaning of patience, I realised what an immensely powerful quality it is to have. It keeps you grounded and allows you to accept that, when the time is right, things will fall in to place. Although at times I've hated the idea of patience, and have used curse words against it. But, nevertheless, I'm glad that I've got the ability to bring myself back to it when I need it the most.

3. Forgiveness is essential.

This year, I practised a lot of forgiveness. The past is such a huge part of our dis-eases and our negative thoughts. After dissolving some of the "bad stuff" from the past, I felt renewed almost. I talked about this in my blog, earlier this year. I think it's a constant process. There are always new things that pop up, that remind me that it's something that needs attending to. Forgiveness, you see - allows you to be free. It lets you give the past a rest, and lets you breathe in the day you're in, and enjoy it fully. Forgiveness is hardly ever for another person, it's always for you. It's a form of cathartic release, and it should be practised as often as possible.

4. Making mistakes isn't bad.

I've always had an issue with making mistakes. I've been almost scared and reluctant to make mistakes in the past. In fact I still feel some anxiety at times. But what was necessary for me to learn, was that it's totally fine to make mistakes. In fact, making mistakes teaches you to be more human, and allows you to see the world differently. Mistakes are small little lessons - learn them, forgive yourself, and move on. Next time, you'll know exactly how to deal with similar situations. It's teaching you to be an expert, really.

5. Everything we go through has a bigger purpose.

And sometimes.. We can go decades without understanding why a certain event took place. But eventually, everything makes sense - and everything fits, almost like a completed jigsaw puzzle. You'll realise why that person "broke" your heart, or why you failed that course, and why you never got together with that friend of yours, for many years, etc. All these events cluster together to teach you something - and to bring you to something better. That's all you have to know - there's a bigger reason as to why you have to endure some not so nice things, some painful and other difficult events. 

6. Have a little faith.

Whatever your religion, whatever your inner beliefs - know that there's a God who is always looking out for you, and guiding you. Talk to him often, express gratitude, sadness, happiness, fear, and whatever else you want. He's always going to be there - and he knows you. Faith can stem from anywhere - it doesn't need to be from a religion, as it comes from a deep and emotional place within yourself. Your relationship with God is personal, and its one of the most purest and most loving. Always go back to your faith when you feel like you're faltering a little. A prayer, any time in the day, can calm you down and make you feel reassured. Faith is imperative. 

7. Miracles happen daily.

If you're open to it - miracles happen everyday. They can be small things or big, huge ones. Always be open and willing to accept such goodness in to your life - and like that, you'll appreciate everyday that passes and recognise everything that works. Even the things you feel aren't working, are actually working in their own wonderful way. Be grateful, and more good things will happen.

8. Crying is fine.

This year - I've cried a lot. I've cried in front of people I never thought I would. At first I was so aware of my emotions, but now, I accept them wherever and whenever they pop up. I could be in the middle of a crowded station and feel totally overwhelmed by something, have a little cry and not feel shy about it. It's good to release emotions in a healthy manner, and having a small or a big cry can revitalise you instantly (or a few hours later). Sometimes, you talk yourself through the thoughts you're having that are making you feel sad, and once you cry yourself through them, you come to the conclusion that actually, things aren't that bad. You feel like you can face anything after a good sob. It's definitely not a sign of weakness or vulnerability. It reminds you to take a pause, gather yourself and attend to whatever it is, a little differently.

9. Love.

Yes. There it is again. Of course it was going to come up! 

I learnt a lot about love this year. In many forms. But most importantly, it made me realise how I feel like it's almost a purpose for me - to be in love, to see love in everything, and to always be around it. I've looked for it all my life - and I've looked for it during times where I felt so unloved by myself, by events and others in my life. When I decided to stop searching for it, and realising that love is actually everywhere (if you want to see it) - it all came to me in a rush. And now I feel like the sappiest sog out there. I feel like I'm always in love now - and I make it a point to see everything through love-hearted eyes. Oh sigh.

10. Food is a great healer.

Whether it is turmeric powder for a sore zit on your face, or a spoonful of blackstrap molasses to help with inflammation - the right type of food can heal anything from depression to bone dis-eases, and everything else in between. You just need to find what works with your body. I've not been eating well the last few weeks, but I'm aware of this - and quickly getting back to my usual eating habits that my body so desperately misses. In fact, I've noticed bad moods, foggy brained thoughts and also acne, increase in the last few weeks. Food, is my go to place whenever I feel something isn't right. 

And lastly - it's okay to be anxious, imbalanced and a little scared when there are changes taking place. It's the fear of the unknown, but really, there's nothing to fear. Life is wonderful, things unfold as they are supposed to - for you. And most of all, never compare or judge yourself or others around you. Your story is yours to love, and it's just as blessed as everyone else's. 

.. Until part 2!

Oh, and a good song to wrap up thoughts.