Tuesday, April 29, 2014

At the Top

There are a few things you learn when you've experienced something new for the first time. For instance, when I visited the Grampians out in Australia - and walked up that mountain (which now I realise, after much research, wasn't as "high" as some of the others in the surrounding area! Although, I'm not going to let that burst my bubble of achievement. Hmph) and reached that breathtaking peak. There are few moments in my life that have left me speechless. This was one of them. I had absolute clarity of thought and knew that whatever I felt then, I'd follow through with. It was that crazy determination that reaches you when you're filled with all sorts of intense emotions of happiness and elation.

I've never really climbed/walked up a mountain before. And if you had asked me a year or so ago, I would have outright refused to do so in the UK (for some reason, it doesn't have the same "feeling"). I leave these things to be tried elsewhere across the globe. 

I don't consider myself a jungle bum, or a bum of any sort really. I like trying new things, and I am always open to adding more experiences to my life. I don't want to be confined to making lists and ticking off things, I've realised in the recent past. I just want to go ahead and nose dive in to whatever new things come my way (although Sky Diving, I've been stalking you for so many years now). 

I digress, as per usual. When we reached the top of the Pinnacle, there were a few thoughts that flowed through my mind. One was, that I had never felt so incredibly light and worry-free before. The other was, this is what love should feel like (and other love-esque thoughts). Completely and utterly pure and fresh without any nastiness. 

Now I speak about love a lot (according to a word count/repeat website, It's the top 5 most used word on my blog. The other four being - time, feelings, life and people. Spot on!) - and one of the things that always gets me quite irritated is when people say "you're too young still (bro, I'm 26 in a few days. That's 4 years away from 30), why do you want to get married/find someone/etc.. Enjoy your life, enjoy being single, later on you'll want this time back." It's usually married people who give me that advice. And you'd think by now I'd probably be averted from the idea of love/relationships.. Yet, I'm not. My reaction is mostly a groan. 

I never grew up with the idea of marriage being a burden or a "bad" experience. I have known it to be tough, sometimes too tough. But I've always known it as a representation of love and togetherness more than anything. Now, if I had actually thought about all the bad things I knew about relationships in general, I don't think I'd be sat here now with such optimistic thoughts. I'd be dismissive about the idea of marriage and possibly wouldn't even mention it.

However, being the sap that I am - I've always been a dreamer. And that's because I've always wanted to have that type of love for myself. I've wanted to have a relationship that was strong and filled with positivity and greatness (as opposed to frustrations and general resentment). It was the only thing I think that has remained consistent through all my trials over the last few years. In fact, it was the only thing that gave me hope for my future. There's a revelation I never made before!

When things were unbearably hard, I would go to my happy place. My happy place would be a vision of me, a couple of years down the line - with another person who was just as glad to be with me as I was to be with him. Hanging around in a log cabin (I have a fascination with these as mentioned previously) playing cards, cooking food and just really being completely free of restrictions on behaviours and traits that were otherwise held back. Simply put, just being content and happy.

I'm definitely not too young. I'm also definitely not finding "singledom" fun (I think I did when I was at uni). There are some people who the "single" life suits very well. I am not that person any more. I've been really independent and self sufficient, and have been there for myself so much the last few years. But it gets tiring to be honest, and at some point you want to talk to and share things with another person who is someone that knows you well and won't judge you for the way you are. Not only that, but you come to a stage where you're like - you know what, I've done everything alone for the last two decades, and now I'd like to do these things with another person. You also start realising that there's something missing - rather, someone. It's mostly the fact that life gets too lonely and same-y. You can change your jobs a few times, and find something "new" to go to for a while, but eventually it becomes clear that you'd love to be going home to someone whom you were counting the hours to see everyday. You see, there's no sense living without love and a companion. In fact, those most luckiest in my eyes, are those who get to share their lives with another. Understandably, it won't always be plain sailing - but even when things get rough, it's the way you meet another person's wavelength and figure things out, that will reinforce the companionship.  

I look at myself and I go, well how many more conversations can I have with myself about certain things before I actually go mad? Albeit, my advice to myself is pretty amazing - but it would be amazing if it came from someone else's mouth. 

We put so many restrictions upon ourselves in finding love I think. He should be tall, he should have a lot of money, he can't live more than an hour away from my family, he has to have at least two muscles (whatever, I dunno the actual terms) and he should be completely in awe of my amazing self. But we never stop to think what we can offer another person - and I don't mean that in a, criticise yourself type way - but surely we need to know what type of person we truly are (ie, not what we hope to be in the future, or could be.. But as we are now) in order to know how another person would handle our truth. I've always maintained that the heart and the personality of a person should be looked at before anything else. Of course, I have also at times been shallow and have thought that someone was a bit shorter than I would suit. But you know then that the person isn't right for you. Because when you do meet them, you wouldn't want to change a thing. And all those restrictions you once placed on finding the person, will suddenly no longer matter. For instance, you wouldn't care how far he lived, or how many sets of muscles he had or how much money was in his bank. All that would (or rather should) matter is what type of person he is, and whether he will take care of you and keep you happy. The rest, will fall in to place. 

Going back to my original point - when I was on top of that peak, and I felt completely moved by what I saw before me.. I was certain then, that I would never settle with love. I wouldn't marry someone out of thin air, just because it was an easy thing to do. No, I would fall in love madly and completely all at once - and it would be the most scariest most exhilarating thing I would ever witness. And just like that, I would create my own story with someone else.. And that story, will be my most favourite. 

A song - to wrap up my thoughts. 

Monday, April 28, 2014

Quote

Go after her. Don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a  television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I left my heart in Australia

I've found home. It's not the UK. It's in amazing Australia! It's so lovely out there!! And best of all, they have Koalas! Have you seen those teddy's? They're far too cute to be left alone. I need to be there to harass them all day and all night and keep them up at night!

I felt comfortable and felt like I belonged there. There was something there. In the air perhaps. Something that felt right. I don't think I've ever felt that at home before, in such a foreign place. And by foreign I mean far away from anywhere else I've ever been.

The company, the atmosphere, the air and the gorgeous greenery everywhere was just breathtaking. I've never experienced so much love for another place as much as I did when I was out there. It took me no time at all to feel settled in the Australian way of life, and I could have easily spent a few more weeks, months, years (you get the point) there without hesitation. 

I first got to Sydney, and spent some time wandering the streets at midnight, looking for some grub. Sydney had a great charm, it was welcoming, completely multicultural (food and population wise) and parts of it were so beautiful. It took me a couple of days to actually see the Harbour, The Bridge and The Opera House. Whereas, most people would go off in search of those sights first, I went about things a bit differently and I was very happy with it. 

I also had a short trip outside of Sydney to Wollongong as well - which was incredible. The train journey was about 2 hours long, and it was one of those double-decker trains (like the ones I rode to Philadelphia from New York a couple years ago!) which excited me a lot. I obviously took a spot up on the top deck along with my friend as we caught up on each others lives. The views were gorgeous - there were luscious green forests and parks over hills and the ocean.. Oh my the ocean. It was so blue! And so utterly welcoming. 

Once we reached Wollongong, it reminded me of something off of TV - like a small Hawaiian Island, mixed with a bit of suburban San Francisco. The first thing I saw as I turned to my friend's flat was the ocean. They live right across the ocean, and so all day and night, all you can hear is the sound of the waves. You can see the sunrise and set, and just relax. I felt quite comfortable there and immediately made myself at home by cooking some (gluten-free) pasta! I met some wonderful new people there too, and I think it was the most relaxed I had been for a while. 

Back in Sydney, the first time I saw the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge was at night. It was past midnight and the walk from my apartment to the location was a lovely, breezy one. It was Friday night, so everyone was out about town and there was a great buzz all across. I felt quite safe and really enjoyed taking in all sorts of sights and smells of the city before me. When I saw the Opera House and the Bridge, I was taken aback. It was more beautiful than the pictures, and so calm and serene. There weren't any tourists or any cameras out on walks. It was just me and someone else. We took some pictures, sat along the long wall that lead to the Opera House, and had the perfect view of everything in one go. 

I spent time at the Saturday market as well, which was when I saw the Opera House in the day time. It wasn't as charming as it was the night before, when it stood there alone without the herds of people surrounding it. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my day thoroughly - as I ate my way through the various stalls of yummy Turkish Gozleme (spinach and cheese), some fresh coconut and watermelon juice and of course corn on the cob - which I took an age to finish. That market was pretty spectacular as it felt slightly familiar (only better, as it was in Australia!) and everyone was just so cheery, despite the spitty rain. 

I also stopped in Melbourne for a few days and I think I fell in love with the City as soon as it came in to view as we were landing. It was so green! Melbourne smelt different. It gave me a warmer welcome (partly because I hadn't been travelling for 2 days to get there like I did with Sydney). And love was pretty much in the air. Melbourne reminded me of nothing I had seen before. It had places and reminders of other countries and cities I had visited or lived in before, but it had it's own magic. Almost charismatic. It lured me in pretty quickly and I saw myself living there permanently very easily. 

The food and the company definitely made a difference, I think. We also drove down to Grampians, via the 12 Apostles - both of which were unbelievably astonishing to see in person. We drove over the The Great Ocean Road, and just as the name suggests, the drive was fantastic. It had mountains, greenery, the ocean, lots of bugs hitting the car screen and wonderful quaint towns along the way. I saw some surfer dudes, and I couldn't help but repeat the lines of the Turtle in Finding Nemo in my head whilst I saw them "catch some waves". There are some very stereotypical things one must do in Australia. Do the accent for one (I mastered the art of saying "look at that Snake" in a Steve Irwin type excited voice) and talk about shrimps on the barby's for a second. 

We stayed over in this amazing log cabin that was owned by an old couple. The town itself was quite eerie when we got in at night, as everything was mostly closed, there were no people about and certainly no buzz. Our cabins were situated between two mountains - one being the Pinnacle and the other, I'm not quite sure of. The town was a perfect set for those scary movies like, Cabin in the Woods, etc. But the experience was of course, far from it. I've always, always wanted to stay in one of those wooden cabins. And I was pretty blown away when I found out that it was where we'd stay for a night. There was a fireplace, some dusty sofas and a TV that we winded down to watch before hitting the bed (which was complete with an old picture frame of someone very very old, who possibly haunted the rocking chair in the corner of the room next to the long standing mirror). 

The following day.. Was simply out of this world. I climbed my first ever mountain. And by that I don't mean with ropes and all that funky stuff. I mean with my legs and sometimes arms. We climbed the Pinnacle, which is the highest Peak out there. It took about 2 hours to get up to the top. The actual climb up was a bit painful at the start, as we decided to take an alternative route via the Grand Canyon which added an extra 0.1 KM to the entire climb. Obviously no harm done.. Or so we thought until we saw some steep rocks and stairs. Plus we had full bellies. Not a bright idea before such excessive walking and climbing, may I add. It was a gorgeous warm and sunny day and I think that made a difference to how much more excited people were to reach the top. I hit a mental wall somewhere in between when I heard a passer by say that there were about 700 more "stairs" (rocks, boulders, etc) to go before reaching the top. 700 in my mind felt like a number I couldn't fathom. But as I saw little boys (literally, about 2-3 years of age) speeding pass without their parents, and not even panting half as much as I was - I kind of got this burst of energy to follow through without winging about the sickly feeling due to a heavy breakfast. 

Once we got to the top to witness those gorgeous views of the lands beyond.. Suddenly the last two hours of the climb were a distant and possibly even non-existent memory. All I wanted to do was just stay up there for a while longer and take in the most beautiful, extraordinary, astonishing views I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing. We were so far up that we could see showers in the distance, and could see clouds rolling in to various spots. Everything was oddly still. It was so cold and breezy, and there were so many couples and families that just hurdled together to have some food and relax for a bit before making their way back down. 

I think I may have a fascination of climbing developing. Especially if the end result is just so insanely magnificent! What's a few steep rocks? 

Heading out in to Australia and not seeing a Koala would have been the daftest thing I would have ever done. It was all planned so amazingly by the company I was with - so I didn't even have to think twice about creating a plan myself. I was taken to this Koala Park a little outside of Melbourne where it's one of the few places out there that allow people to pet and feed koalas and also have pictures taken at the same time. Obviously, I was ridiculously excited the moment I walked in and spotted my first Koala. It was love and addiction all at the same time. I think I smiled like an idiot for most of my time there. I possibly even giggled, like a school girl would upon seeing their crush or a boyband star. I was smitten so quickly. They're the sweetest most sleepiest teddy's ever! It was also extra special because the company I was with was also seeing Koalas that close for their first time. So the experience was doubly great.

Following on from there, we went out to the famous Philip Island where we went Go Karting. Now, my last experience of Go Karting was.. Let's just say.. Pretty sad. It was over 10 years ago, and I was quite young and had really awful motor and general awareness skills. I barely made it around one lap I think before the time ended or something really silly like that. Since, I never sat in another kart again. Until this time. I was much better. Although I did come last of a group of 13. I didn't do as bad as I thought, but I think the fact that I can now drive properly, helped a bit with steering and general awareness. It was very entertaining because the person I was with was so incredibly excited (as excited as I was with seeing Koala's probably) - it was like they had won a lottery, whilst rolling around in the finest melted chocolate and then having Persian cats come to you purring (I think this is only fascinating for me). I loved it. It makes me really happy I have realised, to see others enjoy themselves in various activities. 

On from there, we went to see the Penguins come on shore. It was so adorable. Slightly creepy as well when you see a bunch of white little flappy things move your way in massive packs, screaming at each other. But when you get over that (and the smell), it was one of the most coolest things I've ever seen! Penguins, you're awesome. At the same time of seeing this, I also witnessed my first ever moon rise, right at the ocean. I've never, ever seen the moon so big and so beautiful before. In fact, I never really think about the moon all that much. But after seeing it in all it's glory, I think I see the obsession. 

Jet lag was an issue for the first few days, but I quickly overcame it once I tired myself out through the day with so many different activities. I'm not going to divulge all of what I did, as you all know, I like to keep a few sweet things to myself and for my own memories. 

I have the travel bug in me still. And I think it want's to go back to Australia. Although to be fair, something deep within me has been calling me to Australia for so many years now. I am beyond glad and happy that I made it out there even if for a short while. I had the best time of my life, and I cannot wait to go back. In fact, I'd go back in a heartbeat if I could. The flights there are actually not too bad, if you stop over somewhere for a couple days and carry on. Make a double holiday out of it - like I did! I stopped in Dubai for a couple days, met some friends and family and jetted off again.

Australia - I love you. You're in me. You've captured me completely and I can't wait to discover what other wonders (I didn't see a single spider.. Let's see how long that lasts next time!) lie within you. You've stolen my heart. And now my mind can no longer function in British-ness. 

Until next time.

Here are some pictures to whet your appetite on what gorgeousness lives at the other side of this world (clicking the pictures will enlarge them.. I hope). Enjoy! 






Friday, April 04, 2014

La Vie En Rose

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me, heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I'm in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels, sing from above
Everyday words seem
To turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose



I talked about having wanderlust a few posts ago.. And I am happy to let you all know that somehow, the universe heard my desperate need to be elsewhere, and managed to make it happen. I am off to Australia for a couple of glorious weeks. 

Yes, I will be seeing Koalas, Kanagroos (although I've seen them in England.. Probably not the same feeling.), wallabies (also seen these guys, and they scared me), and so many wonderful insects. I especially look forward to seeing the spiders that are as big as my face. And the snaayks (say it in an Aussie accent) (please also sense the frightenment and the anxiety on these reptiles/insects).

I shall report from the other side of the world, or when I am back!

Wanderlust away!! And while you're at it - listen to my new favourite rendition of the lovely La Vie En Rose (also a silent dedication to the end of the awesome run of How I Met Your Mother!)

Have some shrimps on the barby (that's how you say bye in Australia right?)

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Quote

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.