Cheesyness. Don't you just loathe it?
I have to admit, for the better part of my existence I was very much taken by the whole "cheese" factor about love, life and everything in between. I watched movies that had happy endings, and sad quotes that used to make me make me feel all sappy. I used to love reading love stories and feeling all "sigh-ish" after and turn to my dream world. It was fluffy. It was needed, sure.. As it was my only escape at the time.
But now, when I look back to all of that cheese, all of those moments with people I had, it just seems so pathetic. It seems silly and extremely cringe-worthy to be honest. I still enjoy "GOOD" romantic movies that have a brilliant storyline, and enjoy listening to some 80's cheese. That said, my views on love, romanticism and relationships have changed completely.
I used to think that "love" was all about romance. I was dreamy with my thoughts no doubt, but could you blame me? I don't think so. The media provided me with only good things about love. That "falling in love" is amazing, it's beautiful and so forth. Whatever was written about love was always so flowery and so happy, that it made me so sure that it was something if I found, would be just like that. Ofcourse, as time passed, I grew older, and realised that well - the media is pretty rubbish.
I'm no expert and nowhere close to knowing anything about love and relationships. But I know that the way people use this word, so loosely has lost the meaning behind it. In a day, we can say "I love you" to 10 different people and possibly mean it on different levels. But is that really "love" or is it just deep affection or like? Why call it love, when you can call it something else. It's such an overused, and overestimated word now - that once used, brings chaos, uncertainty and obligation. All things which to my knowledge, "love" is not.
I have experienced many-a-times when this word was used. I've seen it used to a person who in a weeks time, was saying it to someone else, followed by another a week after. That's not just with people whom we oh so lovingly call "players" but also with my own friends whom I love dearly.
It's so easily said that you "love" someone, but so hard in maintaining it. So in a sense, it is an obligation - one that not many can keep going, and many others fail at. But when do you know that it is "love" to stay? What if you say it to the wrong person, or you say it because you're scared this person may get away? There are a variety of scenarios, and I think the answer to all of that is - just don't say it at all.
I think the word has been tainted and abused.. To the point where now it has become difficult to identify what "true love" is. Another phrase I do not like.
The other thing about it, is that.. How quickly people want to fall in love. Over the past couple of years, I have noticed how some people can only identify themselves accurately if they are with a significant other. I have also witnessed people "falling in love" at a ridiculously young age. I don't understand the hurry, or the need. There is so much more to existing than finding another person to give you immense amounts of un-needed distraction, especially if they are just a passing phase in your life. I'm happy for those who find that person, and manage to keep them and then spend their lives with them.. But for those who are still so young (myself included) - why the hurry?
On the other hand, you can find a person compatible to you, and someone whom you can share great understanding and passion with on levels unimaginable to others close to you, and stay sane and happy. Although I dunno if I'd ever personally use the word "love". It does not cover the extreme emotions you feel, or the things you would do for that person, or anything really. It's just a very very empty word, that does not even begin to cover what you experience. Plus, everyone knows and understands it in tremendously different ways. For example, one may find "love" to be all about sacrifice and understanding, another may find it to be something fun and exciting and non-serious. How can you, then have a universal definition for it?
The thing about "love" is the way people say it. The words "I love you" don't actually specify anything. Do you mean you love their personality? The way they cook? The way they look? Surely you cannot love every single thing about another person as we all have flaws, so the "you" at the end isn't concise enough. Because there will always be those annoying habits of the other that will drive you up the wall. Does that mean you "love" them the same every time they do/say those annoying things? And the fact that the "you" also defines the "love" you have for someone else, it suggests that there is no one else in the world that you feel the same way for. Which by the way is also not true. You can easily have similar feelings for many people in the world - perhaps not to the same extent. But, it's possible. It also comes across as a very altruistic feeling right? That may be true to a a point, but really - how many fights do you have with the person you're "in love" with that start with "you never consider My.."? Where's the "me" in the "I love you"? It's all about the other person, and the selfish part of you, will want yourself to be known at some point in your "love" life. It's very vague.. These words.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against it.. I just think that if you care so deeply and have such affection for another person, there are many other ways through which you can communicate it. Towards the end of the day, words can be empty and just be said with a "hmph" added to the end of it. Because once you say those three horribly clichéd words, you'll have to say it over and over and over again. No matter what else you may try and do.
Alas, here ends my rant.
Love,
Sanaa.
